Anyway, today was Meaghan's last day in school for who knows how long. I spent the day with her, it was awesome. I read to the class from a book written from a child's perspective about CF. I think they all liked it. Meaghan chose the snack for today, Doritos and powdered donuts. She also shared with the class her love for half and half in place of plain milk. I don't think anyone else liked it but Meaghan cleaned up! Then we took a class picture to hang in her hospital room next week and Meaghan gave each classmate a goodie bag we made for them. I held it all together, it was ok.
But tonight, I am slowly going crazy. I have so many things to get ready for and I wish I had written them down before my brain turned to mush. Tomorrow is a special trip to the aquarium in Baltimore. If you've read any of the blog by now you know it is one of Meaghan's favorite places. Since we have no idea what the future holds, I have to get her back there one more time. Then tomorrow night we are heading up to Aberdeen for Jimmy's last baseball games of the fall season. He is so excited, he's playing at Ripkin. The tournament starts early on Saturday and goes through Sunday. So that we could all be together and get enough sleep and still manage to do all of Meaghan's treatments we decided it would be easier to rent a room. So I am really behind in being ready (as I'm gonna be) for what's about to happen.
I'm scared. That's it, I feel it all swelling in my chest. I need to be with my daughter but I will miss my boys and I'm afraid that they'll resent me for not being with them. My head says I'm crazy but my heart... I HATE what's going on, I need to make it all go away.
I'm done, after a long pause and a chat with God, I'm back! Goodnight, hugs.
Sounds like an awesome party in Meaghan's classroom! Fun going on today and not to mention a fun weekend planned. I think that next week you should try to relax while with Meaghan. You are going to need a bit of downtime! Your boys will be fine. They see that you are caring for Meaghan and they know that you would do the same for them if they were sick. They see you being their Super Mom too! Remember we are here for you! Call or write whenever you need anything! I will do what I can and for sure pass around request for prayers! We love you all very much! Miss you too! - Tracey
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tracey. It sounds like a good way to celebrate in Meaghan's classroom. I also agree that your boys are going to be fine. They have experienced you caring for them when they are ill and need you. I have something to share with you...I don't remember where I got it however, I refer to it often...Satan's voice: rushes you, pushes you, frightens you, confuses you, discourages you, worries you, obseses you, condemns you. God's voice: stills you, leads you, reassurres you, enlightens you, encourages you, comforts you, calms you, convicts you. I love all of you dearly and I am honored to have you as my sister. Please be quick to tell us how to support you. Love, Janet
ReplyDeleteJack will be Meaghan's eyes and ears in class! Please let me know when you need that spaghetti dinner:)
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